jumping on the jakoblodwick-makes-no-sense bandwagon
I am constantly experiencing things, and making sense of the present by comparing it to a summary of the past. I started building this model of the universe in my mind shortly after birth, and I constantly use it to understand the significance of objects and actions that I encounter. I was not born with the concept of “turntable”, but I have seen enough of them to know that the Pro-Ject Xperience qualifies as one.
The model is not perfect, however. There are some glitches. If a mistake is made while building the model, it can have many consequences. The first is a misunderstanding of that specific thing. But the model is constantly building on itself, so there are secondary misunderstandings, too. If a fault exists three layers below the surface, then the surface will be cracked.
I think my deepest cracks are due to emotionally evading things throughout my life. That is, failing to admit that something made me happy, sad, jealous, scared, etc — failing to admit that and how something effected me. I like to think of myself as completely independent from any outside force, but that just is not true, and it especially was not true when I was a child. So I’ve developed a sort of therapy for myself where I revist old memories, and try to reevaluate them as honestly as possible. This helps me reach conclusions that I perhaps did not make at the time, and correct little glitches which cause seemingly inexplicable anxieties in my present adult life.
It isn’t easy to jump back to old memories, especially uncomfortable ones that I’ve never enjoyed recalling, because they are so buried. I came up with a technique that allows me to access them seemingly out of the blue. I choose a few “search terms”, focus on them, and see what comes to mind. So I might choose “taxi” and “awkward” and see what forgotten experiences come to mind. And then I can evaluate and correct my storage of that memory, perhaps moving it from “didn’t effect me” to the “made me embarrassed” category.
I think that most problems cannot truly be solved without going deep below the surface, one’s own psychology included.
come again? even if this wasn’t mind-numbingly opaque, there’s still a glaring blind spot: “this model of the universe” has been proposed, sliced, diced, reformed and altogether more properly put by many previous people, both known and unknown…these maybe free, as in beer, ideas, but give credit where credit is due…i doubt Mr. Lodwick was actively creating self-conscious model’s of the “universe” (a.k.a., his own perception of things) “from birth”